Overwhelmed with Finances and Avoiding Bills? Why I Freeze When It Comes to Money

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed with finances and avoiding your bills, you’re not alone.

That feeling of knowing something needs your attention… but putting it off anyway.
Not because you don’t care—but because you almost care too much.

I’ve been there more times than I want to admit… and recently, I realized something that changed how I see all of this:

I don’t just struggle with money.
I freeze when it comes to it.

For me, being overwhelmed with finances didn’t look like irresponsibility.

It looked like this:

• Waiting until the absolute last minute to pay high-dollar bills—just in case something else came up and I needed the money more.
• Getting hit with late fees… not because I didn’t have the money, but because I waited too long to use it.
• Avoiding the mailbox because I didn’t know what bad news might be inside.
• Missing important notices—like when our homeowner’s insurance was canceled—because I didn’t open something in time.
• Avoiding checking bank balances because I was afraid there wouldn’t be enough left.
• Scrambling to come up with money at the last minute to cover something I should have already handled.
• Using credit cards I had worked hard to pay down… just to stay afloat.

From the outside, it might not look like much.
But internally, it felt like constant pressure.

Like something was always about to go wrong.

If you’ve read my post about emotional paralysis, this might sound familiar.

This isn’t a lack of discipline.

It’s that same shutdown response—just showing up in a different area.

When something feels overwhelming or heavy for too long, your mind doesn’t always push through…

Sometimes, it freezes.

And for me, finances became one of those areas.

The more I’ve sat with this, the more I’ve realized:

This wasn’t about not knowing what to do.

It was about fear.

Fear of not having enough.
Fear of making the wrong move.
Fear of seeing how things actually looked.

After years of financial stress, my instinct wasn’t to face things head-on—it was to try to protect what we had.

So I would delay.
Avoid.
Wait.

But the truth is, the more overwhelmed with finances I felt, the more I avoided them…
and the worse things became.

Avoidance didn’t protect me.
It just made everything heavier.

There was another layer to this that I didn’t want to admit at first.

Some of this wasn’t just overwhelm.

It was fear that had quietly taken the lead.

It was trying to hold onto control instead of trusting God with this part of my life.

And what really stopped me in my tracks was this:

I don’t hesitate to tithe.

It comes out automatically every pay period.
I don’t overthink it.
I don’t stress about it.
I trust God with that without question.

But when it came to the rest of our finances…

I was operating from fear.

Avoiding.
Delaying.
Holding my breath.

Not because I don’t believe God provides—
but because I was still trying to carry it myself.

And I had to be honest about that.

Not in shame.
But in surrender.

Because when I really look at it…

This hasn’t just been overwhelm.

It’s been fear.

Fear of not having enough.
Fear of making the wrong move.
Fear of seeing what’s actually there.

But God is clear about fear.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.“

2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

And I’ve had to come to terms with this:

I can’t say I trust God as my provider…
while living like everything depends on me.

I tend to need reminding that:

There have been so many times where He has already made a way for us.

Times where, if I’m being honest, the numbers didn’t make sense… and yet somehow, we were still taken care of.

I think about the time we were behind on our water bill.
Back when finances weren’t just tight—they were impossible.

For over a year we were living off of my income alone.

I was bringing in about $1,000 a month.
We were approved for $140 a month in food stamps—and only for four months.
And still had all of life’s expenses—utilities, gas, insurance, debt.

My husband was spending his days at the hospital, advocating for his former stepfather and helping his mom.

It was the right thing to do… but financially, it made no sense.

This wasn’t just a water bill—but sewer, garbage, everything tied to it.
If we didn’t make a payment that day, they were coming the next day to shut it off.

I remember calling, trying to ask for just a few more days until my paycheck came in.

And the woman on the phone told me…
our balance was zero.

That the bill had already been paid weeks before.

I went back and checked everything—our bank, the city’s website—and there it was.

A payment I have no memory of making.

To this day, I truly believe God made a way in that moment.

Not because I deserved it.
Not because I had everything together.
But because He is faithful.

Months later, we’re still struggling, no longer approved for food stamps, an insurance company reached out about a settlement from an old workers’ comp accident.

We thought it was a scam at first.

But after months of conversations, prayer, and even fasting, we agreed on an amount that gave us peace.

That one provision:

• helped us get back on our feet
• allowed us to payoff all debts
• paid the agreed upon amount to put our house in our name
• replaced our vehicles (still have my car eleven years later)
• and even allowed us to bless others.

God didn’t just meet our need—He exceeded it.

And there have been so many other moments too:

• bonuses showing up right when we needed them
• unexpected financial gifts
• vehicles, furniture, and things for Bella as a baby

And yet… even with all of that…

I still find myself slipping back into fear.

Living like it all depends on me.
Holding my breath.
Trying to control what I can’t control.

But Jesus already spoke directly into this.

In Matthew 6:25-34, He reminds us not to worry about our lives—what we will eat, what we will drink, what we will wear.
He points to the birds, how they are fed without striving or storing, and says we are far more valuable than they are.
He calls us to seek God first and trust what we need will be provided.

And when I look back at my life, I can see it.

Not perfectly.
Not always the way I expected.
But faithfully.

God has provided.

Again and again and again.

Which means the fear I’ve been living in…
isn’t coming from a lack of evidence.

It’s coming from forgetting.

For a long time, I thought the answer was:

• a better budget
• a better system
• more discipline

But right now, I’m realizing something simpler:

I can’t fix what I won’t face.

And I don’t want to face this alone anymore.

This month isn’t about fixing everything.

It’s about stopping the avoidance.

So instead of jumping straight into fixing everything, I started somewhere else.

Before I touched a single number, I had to do something else first.

I had to bring this to God—honestly.

Not polished.
Not “figured out.”
Not with a perfect plan.

Just honest.

About the fear.
The avoidance.
The pressure I’ve been carrying.

Because being overwhelmed with finances doesn’t mean you’re failing.

A lot of times, it means you’ve been trying to carry something you weren’t meant to carry alone.

After that, I took one small step.

Not a full budget.
Not a complete overhaul.

Just… looking.

Looking at accounts.
Looking at what’s there.
Looking at what we owe.

Not to fix everything.

Not to solve it all in one sitting.

Just to stop pretending it’s not there.

And that might not sound like much.

But when you’ve been overwhelmed with finances for a long time…

That step is big.

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

I don’t want to:

• dread paying bills
• avoid opening the mail
• feel anxious checking my accounts
• scramble at the last minute

I want peace.

I want clarity.

I want to be able to look at our finances without fear.

Not because everything is perfect—but because I’m no longer avoiding it.

If this is you…

You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
And you’re not the only one who feels this way.

Being overwhelmed with finances doesn’t mean you don’t care.

It often means you’ve been carrying too much for too long.

And you don’t have to fix everything today.

You just have to stop pretending it’s not there.

If this is you—if you feel frozen or unable to face your finances, no matter what they actually look like—I wrote something for you.

It’s a simple, repeatable prayer you can write down, or keep in your phone or notes.

Something you can come back to:

• when fear starts to take over
• when anxiety feels overwhelming
• or when you just need to settle your heart and hold onto His peace

You don’t have to have everything figured out.

This is just a place to start.

Because I know how heavy this can feel, I created a simple prayer resource to help you start here.

Not with pressure.
Not with perfection.

Just with one small step:

• bringing this to God
• sitting with the truth
• taking a breath before taking action

You don’t need a perfect system to begin.

You just need a place to start—and permission to take it one step at a time.